Percy Jackson's Guide to Demigod Life
by Firenze26
Summary: Written in this story are the rules that Demigods everywhere should abide to as decreed by Perseus Jackson. Based on his experiences as a Demigod. Read and Review. :)


**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus and any other things that appears in my story that are franchised, branded, copyrighted and all the other legal ownership stuff. Now that the legal stuff is finish I hope you enjoy the story.**

**Percy Jackson's guide to Demigod Life**

_**Between Lightning Thief and Sea of Monsters**_

**Rule 1 and 2**

**Don't trust free samples and remember to ALWAYS wear clothes with pockets**

"Percy! I don't think this is a good idea" My best friend, Grover bleated, yes that's right bleated... like a goat. Now, I know you're wondering 'Why would you insult your best friend?', well technically it's not an insult. You see my best friend is a satyr like in mythology, you know half-man, half-donkey or if you don't know them just imagine a person wearing shag-carpet pants with hoove shoes and two horns on their heads like the devils in the Simpsons (Which is the most awesome show ever! Sorry, moving on).

"Come on, Grover. It's just a free sample" I told him "What could possibly go wrong?"

"Famous last words" Grover muttered under his breath but I heard him but I just waved it off "That's just from movie, it doesn't apply in real life".

I ran to the convenience store, Grover following close behind me, where I saw a woman in her late twenties handing out free samples. When she saw me she smile kindly and said "Free samples?".

I eagerly nodded my head and took one but before I could eat, Grover stopped me. I glared at him "Dude, what now?", I really wanted to eat the free sample, he didn't say anything and pointed at the woman.

"What is it?" I said and then I found out. A bright glow flashed behind me and I turned around and saw a giant black ant-like monster who held the free samples in one of it's many arms "Free samples?" it said with an evil grin.

"Oh..."

"Yeah..."

Me and Grover stood there, staring at the monster with wide eyes "Run!" I shouted before we took off, the giant black ant monster closely following behind us.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Grover shouted as he continued to ran from the monster, abandoning his crutches.

I gritted my teeth, I knew it was sort of my fault but who would expect that the kind woman was a giant monster. "Shut up".

"We're going to die" he moaned sadly.

"Shut up!" I shouted "We just need to go back to my appartment and get Riptide"

He glared at me "Out of all the days you can wear pocketless clothes and forget Riptide, you had to choose today"

"Shut up. Okay" I replied as we turned the corner and into Central Park. I think we took to the wrong turn because we stumbled into a dead end.

"Shit" I muttered harshly muttered under my breath.

"We are so going to die" Grover moaned as he slid down unto the ground.

"No we're not" I said with determination but as fate would have it, we heard a giant roar.

Grover looked at me "We are so going to die" he moaned sadly "And I haven't even settled down and had little mini-me's"

I didn't know where the last part came from but I knew that his words had some truth in it. We were going to die and I knew it, goodbye cruel world.

I closed my eyes and waited for the blow. Why didn't I just wore clothes with pockets? And then suddenly I heard a loud groan before I felt dust hit me on the face.

I coughed and opened my and saw Annabeth holding a dust-covered knife. When Grover saw her, he ran towards her and hugged her "Annabeth, I thought we were going to die" he cried.

Annabeth patted his back awkwardly and mouthed at me 'Why didn't you kill it?'.

I chuckled sheepishly "I forgot my sword".

"You forgot your sword?"

I rubbed my neck and smiled "Sorry?"

"Haven't you read the _"Demigod's Guide to living in mostly one piece"_?" she asked with disbelief.

"There's a guide?" I asked before I back-tracked "Hold up! Wait, what did you mean by 'mostly one piece'" I asked nervously.

She ignored me and replied "Come on Seaweed Brain. It was on our first lesson after the quest".

I laughed sheepishly, I was thinking about blue Cherry Cola and Blue cookies that day. Sue me, I needed food.

She groaned "Oh my Gods, Seaweed Brain. You've never heard of it before?". She shook her head in defeat and muttered "Once you're back in camp. I am going to make you read the guide before she looked down at Grover. "For Hade's sake. Stop hugging me."

**Author's Notes:**

**Well, I just want to try myself with a semi-educational humour piece. If you guys and girls have any advices to Demigod's you can PM me so that I can try to apply it in a scenario. BTW did you like it or was it bad? PM me or comment. I also want to say that all of my stories will have irregular updates due to the start of the school year so I apologise.**

**-Firenze26-Guardian of Fire**


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